New Next Generation Episodes

by Mark Wutka (mark@iccdev.uucp)
17 October 1988

Week 1: Wesley the <BLEEP>head

Wesley contracts a venereal disease after intercourse in the engine room. All his hair falls out and his head becomes shaped like a penis while the new Doctor rushes to save him. Worf and Wesley become great friends after finally finding something in common and Worf attempts to fight the cure. Meanwhile, a powerful alien race takes control of the Enterprise.

 

Week 2: Cupid's Photon Torpedo

Worf must return to Kling to satisfy a 42-year mating cycle or get turned into a pumpkin. Meanwhile, a powerful alien race takes control of the Enterprise.

 

Week 3: The Curse

A strange virus infect the males aboard the Enterprise causing all of them to suffer from PMS. Meanwhile, a powerful alien race takes control of the Enterprise.

 

Week 4: The Love Starship

Captain Stubing ... err ... Picard finds his long lost love while on a routine mission while Gopher and Isaac ... oops ... Data and Geordia teach a Mulroonian Muskrat to whistle "Suwanee River." Meanwhile, a powerful alien race takes control of the Enterprise. (Sonny Bono, Dick Van Patten, and Ken Berry guest star).

 

Week 5: Da Starship! Da Starship!

Mr. Roarke programs the Holodeck to fulfill each of the crew member's fantasies. Data becomes a boy, Geordi becomes Ray Charles, Riker becomes a giant smirk, Wesley has sex with all the female crew members, and Captain Picard has hair again. Meanwhile, a powerful alien race takes control of the Enterprise.

 

Week 6: You Ain't Nuthin But An Arcturan Flooblegonger

Riker heads up an investigation after a rash of Elvis sightings aboard the Enterprise. Data becomes obsessed with Elvis and begins to impersonate him. Meanwhile, a powerful alien race takes control of the Enterprise.

 

Week 7: When You Wish Upon A Star

In an attempt to create the ultimate woman to satisfy his adolescent urges, Wesley causes the Holodeck to re-create Data's REAL creator, Dr. Gepetto. Data temporarily gets turned into a donkey and the Enterprise is swallowed by a whale. Meanwhile, a powerful alien race takes control of the Enterprise. (Guest Star: Jiminny Cricket)

 

Week 8: The Dark Secret

Captain Stubing ... err ... Picard reveals that the "Picard Maneuver" was really only a simple way to parallel park, Troi reveals that she can really read minds, Geordi admits that his sunglasses are really X-Ray glasses and that it is a complete coincidence that his cabin is next to the women's shower. Meanwhile, a powerful alien race takes control of the Enterprise.

 

Week 9: Where No Man Has Come Before

Wesley creates some tense moments when, while tossing off in the transporter room, he accidently sends some spermatozoa into space where they impregnate a giant space amoeba. Geordi warns Wesley that he could go blind and Worf warns that he will grow hair on his palms. Meanwhile, a powerful alien race takes control of the Enterprise.

 

Week 10: A Queer Visitor

Q again invades the Enterprise, this time bringing along his friends - R, S, T, U, V, W, X, Y, and Z. Meanwhile, a powerful alien race takes control of the Enterprise.

 

Week 11: The Problem With Pribbles

The Enterprise answers a distress call from a nearby starbase to protect a supply of Pentatriticale from the ravages of the Ferengi. While at the starbase, several crew members pick up some furry little creatues called Pribbles that propagate at incredible speed. Meanwhile, a powerful alien race takes control of the Enterprise.

 

Week 12: Data Gram

Data is made Internet compatible and Wesley reprograms the Enterprise computers to call the captain "Chrome-dome." Meanwhile, a powerful alien race takes control of the Enterprise.