Way Hey and Join The Star Fleet!

by "James Tiberius Kirk" (VY8872@BINGVAXA)

Sung to the Tune of "Way Hey and Up She Rises"
a.k.a. "What Do You Do With A Drunken Sailor?"

What is the Captain's secret nightmare?
What is the Captain's secret nightmare?
What is the Captain's secret nightmare?
"Tribbles on Deck 5, sir!"

(Chorus:)
Way Hey and Join the Star Fleet
Way Hey and Join the Star Fleet
Way Hey and Join the Star Fleet
Stand Another Night Watch!

How does Spock report disaster?
How does Spock report disaster?
How does Spock report disaster?
"Fascinating, Captain!"

(Chorus)

What is Ensign Chekov's watchword?
What is Ensign Chekov's watchword?
What is Ensign Chekov's watchword?
"The Russians did it first, sir!"

(Chorus)

How does the Doctor cure a headache?
How does the Doctor cure a headache?
How does the Doctor cure a headache?
With a sterile hammer!

(Chorus)

How does Scotty pour his liquor?
How does Scotty pour his liquor
How does Scotty pour his liquor?
From a plasma bottle!

(Chorus)

Who is it Nurse Chapel looks for?
Who is it Nurse Chapel looks for?
Who is it Nurse Chapel looks for?
"Mr. Spock went that way!"

(Chorus)

How does the Doctor keep his sickbay?
How does the Doctor keep his sickbay?
How does the Doctor keep his sickbay?
With a cool mint julep!

(Chorus)

What do we see when we go on shore leave?
What do we see when we go on shore leave?
What do we see when we go on shore leave?
Shore police resigning!

(Chorus)

Etcetera, etcetera, ad infinitum.